I I I So Excited

In honor of it being Friday (yes, I do celebrate it weekly, much like our good friend Rebecca Black), I have decided to focus this blog on everything wrong with this video.  It’s like eating a bowl of cereal: only it’s Krusty-O’s with a razor blade inside every box.

Here's the video in case you haven't seen it yet: 

0:04- “Another Pleasant Valley Sunday” “Just Another Manic Monday” “Tuesday’s Gone with the Wind” “Listen to Wednesday’s Song” “I am Thursday’s Child” “It’s Friday I’m in Love”: Talk about cliché! And I get what she’s trying to do. Describe her week using song titles and whatnot… It’s irritating! It makes me what to choke that penciled moving image out.

0:17- Why does this teenage girl go to sleep with her whole face plastered in makeup?

0:34- Are these kids really old enough to drive? They look 14… (According to Wikipedia, Rebecca Black is 13 years old.) And I can’t believe they have a convertible! I wouldn’t trust kids like this with a convertible! Clearly no one wears their seat belts! And the two kids in the back aren’t even sitting down on the seat! This is 2 years from a drunk driving accident.

0:38- “Which seat can I take?” Look. It’s very clear to me that there is only one seat open. And that’s the bitch seat. If they like you enough, maybe someone else will sit in the middle while you take a window seat in the back. But it’s clear that they don’t. So just accept that you will always be in the bitch seat. I mean, your friends drive to school all the time while you take the bus. They’re probably disappointed that they ran into you at the bus stop and now feel socially obligated to give you a ride.

 0:52- Aww, these kids only have one dance move… Which is bobbing their heads and moving their hands and arms in a sinusoidal motion.

1:06- I don’t like to make fun of the way people say things so I’ll omit anything about the way she enunciates “Friday.” I will not, however, overlook the irony that is the enthusiasm with which she sings “fun, fun, fun, fun.” That’s how I express my joy when people tell me they’re studying.

1:11- Does no one think it’s weird that all of her friends have been replaced with new people BUT THAT THEY STILL USE THE SAME CAR? WHOSE CAR IS THAT?!

1:12- I understand that these white girls cannot dance. This video drips with teenage awkwardness and the lack of any sort of rhythm. But in this moment, both girls in the backseat brush their hair back AT THE SAME TIME! It’s uncanny! Was this a command from the director? Or did they both just realize they were out of moves?

 1:12.5- They’re cruising on a highway sitting on the trunk of a convertible without any seat belts once again.  Let’s ignore that they’re not flying off or that the wind isn’t whipping in their faces, but where are the police that should be pulling this shit over?

1:22- Her friend is on her right. That’s funny because that’s the only girl who looks like she would have been in the car in the morning. You know how people are racist and they say they can’t tell black people or Asian people apart? Well, sometimes I can’t tell blonde girls apart. I’m pretty sure it’s not the same girl who was in the front seat before school, but I can’t be sure.

1:27- This is when we— and the girl on the left— realize that she is not Rebecca Black’s friend. Sadface. If you look closely enough, you can glimpse the utter betrayal in Left’s face. It kinda looks like Left’s about to cry. I want to see Left’s response video: “Saturday”

1:28- Is this girl really still thinking about which seat to take? She is in the middle of a freeway, sitting in the SAME seat she sat in this morning! THE BITCH SEAT. Has she deluded herself into thinking that her friends will actually let her choose next time?

2:06- This is probably my favorite part of the song. Time to learn our days of the weeks, boys and girls! Okay okay. So you’re telling me that yesterday was Thursday, Thursday. And that today is Friday, Friday. Thank you so much for repeating the days of the week, because I wasn’t sure that was the answer until you did that.

2:14- Now a grammar lesson: We we we so excited. We gonna have a ball today. Oh! I I I I get now! I gonna go take test now. We we we play when I go home? NO! Because my parents friggin’ grounded me for failing the 9^th grade and speaking like a 5 year old. Don’t they know that bad grammar isn’t cool when a white person does it?

2:23- To redeem herself, Rebecca will stick to teaching us what she knows best: days of the week. Okay, so if today is Friday… What does this mean for the rest of the week?

2:30- Oh no. What is happening? Is this older, black rapper going to make an appearance in this white girl’s video? I think the age of this man is inappropriate for the video. In Justin Bieber’s “Baby,” Ludacris reflects on love at a young age. Is it just me or does it seem like the man in “Friday” is driving so he can meet up with these kids? Well, at least this video will teach us a lesson. After getting their party broken up by a child molester, the kids will flee in their cars, but all die because they were not seatbelted. This video has the potential to be the "Reefer Madness" of high school parties.

Those are the things that really irritate me in the video. There’s the occasional awkward dance or strange lyric, but I’m not gonna get on this poor girl for every little infraction… I mean, if you were taking the test but misspelled a word, you wouldn’t want points off for every time you misspelled it, right?